Essential Steps for Women in Dating Uncertainty
Take Two of These And Walk It Out.
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I’m not sure if you know this or not, but I am here to help - like Jesse and Al, except way more focused and with better hair. Oh yeah, and minus the whole making a mockery of Blackness since 1968 thing.
With that in mind, I know a lot of women who’ve gone through painstaking processes just trying to figure out if a man was interested in them. In fact, let’s take it a step further…I often get asked by my goodbreasted companions about what they should do when they’re in those initial stages of mental bliss. You know, the stage after you meet but before you play put the lime in the coconut and twist it all around.
So today, I’m going to provide a little 5 step manual for what you womenses should do in the mean time between time while you’re flipping the fuck out waiting for us to show you that we actually do like you. Mind you, I’m aware that men play mental gymnastics as well. But so do squirrels. And that has nothing to do with the price of condoms in Amsterdam. Today’s it all about helping the ladies out.
And with that said:
LOVEAWAKE PRESENTS: 5 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHILE WAITING FOR HIM TO SHOW AND PROVE
1. Calm down. You solve nothing by going apesh*t and overanalyzing every single email and/or text he sends you. And trust me, all men know that b*tches love the smiley face. It’s why Forrest Gump created them.
2. Don’t call him all the time. For one, he won’t answer. For B, you’re putting all of yours cards on the table by letting him know how pressed you are. The same way that we like to imagine what’s in your jeans is the same way we like to think about the chick we just met who might be the 3rd to last chick we ever see naked. The only thing that should be open 24/7 is 7-Eleven.
3. So…get a little ghost on occasion. Don’t be so available. Make the dude feel like he’s working for something. You best believe that if my job one day decided that I would just be working for the love and no paycheck, I’d be dipping THE f*ck out. Mind you, you should be in relationships for the love but that wouldn’t make my analogy work so f*ck it.
On a side note, though I don’t think anything is wrong with having some good ole fashion lovin’ while you’re trying to figure out where you stand, if you give up the goods early and often and he never calls you again, consider yourself lucky. He was just going to break up with you later anyway for a chick who held out.
4. Don’t accidentally be where you know he’s going to be. Just because he tells you where he’s going doesn’t mean he wants you to show up there. In fact, unless he says, “You should come here…” keep your happy ass 100 feet away at all times unless your presence is specifically requested. I knew a chick who somehow liked to pop up where I was going to be. I almost shot her once on accident though. She popped up at my home and was hanging outside my window just in case I wanted to see her. By the way, I lived on the 22nd floor.
By the way, I’m lying.
5. Perhaps you should continue dating. Just because you two met and hit it off doesn’t mean that he’s ready to bet the farm on you. In fact, most of us don’t even have a farm to bet so why in Sam Hill would we be ready to close up shop when we don’t even own one? Think about that. It’s deep. Don’t get so caught up in that one dude that you forget that YOU’RE NOT DATING.
Also…check out the price of tea in China.